Understanding ADHD in Women: Beyond the Stereotypes
- Kate Wallace-Boyd
- Apr 10
- 3 min read
Why you might be missing the signs—and what to do about it.
When most people picture ADHD, they think of a hyperactive young boy who can’t sit still. But ADHD in women and non-binary people often looks very different—and it’s frequently missed. Instead of bouncing off the walls, many people are quietly overwhelmed, deeply anxious, and constantly trying to keep it all together. Sound familiar?
Quick Facts about ADHD in Women
ADHD in women and non-binary people is often underdiagnosed or misdiagnosed.
Symptoms tend to be more internal: racing thoughts, emotional sensitivity, forgetfulness, and chronic overwhelm.
Many overcompensate with perfectionism, people-pleasing, or masking—leading to exhaustion and burnout.
Hidden Signs of ADHD (and Why You Might Not See Them as ADHD)
This is such a nuanced space. A lot of the “classic” signs of ADHD don’t show up in the way you might expect—especially in adults, women, and neurodivergent folks who’ve been masking for years.
You might hear someone talk about hyperactivity and think, “But I can sit still—so that’s not me.” But maybe your hyperactivity is internal—like having 50 million tabs open in your brain at once, or feeling restless and scattered even while doing “nothing.”
Or maybe you’ve seen forgetfulness listed as a symptom, but that doesn’t feel true because you're meticulously organised. You always have your diary or digital calendar on hand, and the thought of losing it or missing a plan causes genuine distress. This is actually a form of coping, and it's a big clue that your brain is working extra hard to keep things together.
Many of the symptoms we associate with ADHD are unmasked versions—and women and non-binary people are often more likely to mask due to social conditioning. That means symptoms are hidden beneath years of learned behaviour, expectations, and coping strategies.
To make it even more complicated, chronic health conditions can muddy the waters. For example, fatigue from chronic pain might hide signs of hyperactivity, or overstimulation might be dismissed as anxiety.
And ADHD is a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition, which means we often look back at childhood experiences for clues. This can feel tricky, especially if your memories are vague or you’ve always assumed what you experienced was “normal.” During an assessment, it can be helpful to talk with a parent, sibling, or someone who knew you well growing up—but if that’s not possible, we can still move forward.
Considering an ADHD Assessment?
At MBH Psychology, I offer neurodiversity-affirming ADHD assessments for adults—including women, non-binary folks, and people who may not fit the stereotypical picture of ADHD. I take the time to understand your story, not just tick off a checklist.
The process includes:
A comprehensive history
Standardised ADHD and mental health questionnaires
Cognitive and executive functioning assessment (optional)
A strengths-based clinical interview
A personalised report with clear feedback and recommendations
Whether or not you meet the criteria for ADHD, an assessment can help you understand your brain better, connect the dots, and take meaningful next steps.
So If You Do Have ADHD, What Can You Do?
Get curious: Learning more about the hidden presentation of ADHD in women is a powerful first step.
Seek support: An ADHD assessment can help make sense of your experiences—even if it’s not ADHD, understanding yourself better is always a win.
Practice self-compassion: You’ve been navigating a neurotypical world with a different brain. That’s not a flaw—it’s something to work with.
Try small, sustainable strategies: Tools like body doubling, external reminders, and realistic routines can make a real difference.
Reflective Questions
In what ways might you be masking your struggles or overcompensating to appear like you’re coping?
Do you rely on systems (like calendars, to-do lists, or routines) in a way that feels more like survival than support?
Could your chronic health challenges or emotional exhaustion be covering up ADHD traits?
What do you remember (or suspect) about how your brain worked in childhood—and who could help fill in those gaps?
You don’t have to keep burning yourself out to prove you’re coping. If you're ready to understand yourself more deeply, book an ADHD assessment or explore your support options with MBH Psychology.
